UFOs: Why It's All Utter Nonsense

Updated: 15.1.23.

Why The UFO Craze Exists & Why It's All Utter Bullshit

First off, this is an old text. (Not as old as anal-probing ancient aliens, but still old.) After being on a different blog, it sat unpublished for years, waiting to be ass-probed by you, my disloyal readers. (All 11 of you.)

Secondly, I am well aware that this list will probably be preaching to the converted. Most of you internet-hopping blog-humpers are atheists, nihilists, cynics and all that jazz. So logically, I'd assume most of you are science-orientated nerds who don't believe that aliens probe your asses... right? Some of you do? Well, that's nice to hear! It'd be pretty pointless to show this text at a NASA convention or an astronauts' reunion. To be perfectly honest, I'd much rather UFO fanatics read it.

Thirdly, the reason I decided to re-release it now is because that abominable tool of the Establishment which blasphemously calls itself "The History Channel" (Not even "a History" but "the History") has been re-re-re-playing Ancient Aliens; mercilessly and nearly every day. The fact that 50 million people are watching that shit with their mouths open, drooling like infants - but only 30 (people, not million) will read this text is kind of defeating. But hey! Maybe this post starts getting the same kind of hype my hipster list had got! Miracles happen. Shit happens. Anuses get probed. People get smart. (No, that last one is a bit of a stretch.)

This text is aimed at people who have a powerful need to believe in witches, ghosts, the Yeti, the Loch Ness monster, and the vast power of the Bermuda Triangle to turn airplanes into thin air. Such people can't always be reasoned with, too deep is their flawed thinking, and too strong is their desire to believe at all cost. And yet, I love arguing with unreasonable people! It's a sort of Sisyphus thing with me, going on impossible, pointless missions, just for the sake of it.

Btw, I envy you, all of you who believe in that crap. Also, that kind of belief system doesn't necessarily mean you're stupid - just "intellectually undisciplined"; that's as diplomatic as I can be about it.

Some people feel as if the world isn't interesting or fascinating enough as it is, so they need additional inventions and made-up toys, fantasies picked out of thin air; sort of the way a lonely young boy invents an imaginary pal. Be my guest; be as self-deluded as you feel your bored mind requires, but don't try to then sell that nonsense to the rest of us who have a smidgen of common sense. I have no issue at all with people turning UFOlogy into a harmless hobby; there are even some intelligent people who turn to it. What does annoy me is when they go public with these inane opinions, trying to get others converted, thereby only adding to the immense pile of bullshit accumulating on the internet and the media in general.

Admittedly, the text is most suitable for people who are still on the fence, and for kids who are new to the subject hence don't even know where to start. This is as good a place as any to start - especially considering the multitude of bullshit that one can find on the internet on this subject.

But before you start reading this extensive rant, let's get one thing straight. The abbreviation "U.F.O." means no more and no less than "unidentified flying object". It does not mean "alien ship". A U.F.O. isn't an A.S. i.e. an "alien ship". The abbreviation "U.F.O." describes an object that flies and is yet to be identified - until smart people that we call scientists figure out what it is. Hence, during the process of finding out what that thing is, we call it "U.F.O." As soon as we find out that it's merely a freakin' weather balloon or a mirage or a computer trick, we stop calling it "U.F.O." We then start calling it bullshit.

Got that? People who equate the term "UFO" solely with flying vessels populated with little green men aren't particularly interested in the fine nuances of language. (You know that thing called "language"? That thing that modern man has been treating like a pile of shit for so long that it actually has become a pile of shit, which is part of the reason why we're all getting (even) dumber. Rappers, here's looking at you, boyeee.) People have allowed the dumbed-down media to make them think that UFOs = alien ships, hence whenever the word UFO is mentioned, most people think of alien ships. The association is 100% alien-related.

Hence, the question "do you of believe in UFOs or not?" is an extremely stupid one. It's not hard to believe in unidentified objects, flying or not. UFOs do indeed exist. Visiting alien aircraft do not. Big difference. Not believing in alien ships visiting Earth is not the same as believing that aliens don't exist elsewhere in the universe. Those are two very separate issues, and yet many people confuse them because the buffoons and liars who control the media merged the two very distinct questions into one very idiotic misleading question. The laws of probability tell us that there is a likelihood that there are (many) alien species strewn all over the universe. Trouble is, if they exist they're pretty much just as stuck where they are as we here on Earth.

Here's why green monsters can't visit us, and why anal probing is an invention by people who secretly want to engage in anal sex.

1.

INTERSTELLAR AND INTERGALACTIC DISTANCES ARE TOO GREAT

A scene from Arrival... yet another moronic Hollywood flick.

The chance that our own Solar System harbours any kind of other life - much less intelligent space-faring life - is extremely slim. At best, there might be a few bacteria lounging about here and there. I don't see bacteria building ships and anal-probing humans any time soon though. (Bacteria can enter our smelly asses with much less hassle than that. They don't need fancy gadgets.)

The odds that life exists in any of the nearby star systems is almost as low. The odds that any such life would constitute of highly advanced space-travelers is so low it's practically negligible. (Take my word for it. I know the universe like my own back pocket. As far as you're concerned, I am all-knowing.)

Now consider this word "nearby": it's highly misleading. The distances between any two neighbouring i.e. "nearby" solar systems (particularly in our part of the galaxy which is more rarefied) are so enormous that you'd require these "nearby" aliens to be able to travel at the speed of light in order to get here - and even then they'd still need to travel several years. For aliens visiting us from much further solar systems, we're talking hundreds, thousands, or even millions of years of traveling at the speed of light. Ask yourself: why would they even f**king bother?

Why would aliens bother covering these huge distances, just to see us? (And what's inside our asses.)

(No, the answer "to make ufologists happy" does not count as a good enough motive.)

The speed of light has a very nasty catch, inasmuch as that Einstein's most famous formula tells us that it is practically impossible to accelerate anything bigger than a grain of sand to go that fast. Accelerating an entire ship to such a speed would require nothing less than "physics of the impossible" i.e. more energy than anyone can even imagine let alone harness. I for one do not believe that any species in our universe, no matter how smart, can achieve the impossible because that would make them god-like. No creature is god-like, I don't care how "advanced" it may be... They must, logically, all be limited in their potential and abilities, similarly to how we are.

Besides, have you any idea how many risks interstellar space holds for any living being? Read up some physics, as opposed to watching those cretinous History Channel UFO and Bigfoot programs. Traveling through interstellar space for even relatively short amounts of time would be a huge challenge for even the brightest bug-eyed green monsters. The near-vacuum of space is an incredibly hostile environment, and yet ufologists prefer not to take that into consideration. They simply bestow their fictional aliens the ability to breathe and/or exist in vacuum (usually naked), or some such fanciful nonsense. Whenever there is a practical obstacle such as speed of light, ufologists will "solve" it (i.e. get rid of it) by using their all-purpose "aliens are omnipotent" excuse.

This lazy, off-the-cuff argument that "aliens had already solved all these technical difficulties" simply doesn't hold water because ufologists haven't yet proven the existence of one alien race, yet already these goofy fanatics make another huge leap of faith, and assign these very fictional creatures abilities that are god-like. Ufologists can't even prove the bare-bones basics upon which their entire belief-system is centered, and yet they already jump to additional silly conclusions, even more absurd than the other baseless assumptions.

I hate traveling even one day! Most people go nuts if forced to travel a few days, let alone a few months, much less years. So why do we simply assume that these hypothetical aliens would be willing to spend years, decades, or centuries, cooped up in a tiny saucer-shaped vehicle. What, coming all the way to Earth in a little metal thing, just to probe our asses and then run away? Are they aliens or clowns! Surely they can't be dumber than humans. Yet, the way ufologists perceive and conceive aliens makes these aliens appear inferior to humans, if anything, not superior. Which is very ironic and self-contradictory. Not technologically inferior to humans, of course, but in terms of their common sense. Ufologists project their own stupidity and confusion onto these aliens, hence why these fictional entities are so poorly conceived, why aliens in nearly all "real" UFO accounts behave stupidly and irrationally - despite being so allegedly brilliant. And no, it couldn't be a cultural thing.

Perhaps they're just little children playing hide-and-seek with other species.

Aliens, I mean. Not ufologists. We already know that ufologists have the minds of little children.

2.

WHY WOULD ALIENS PLAY HIDE-AND-SEEK WITH US?

So damn incompetent, these "geniuses".

The entire notion of intelligent alien beings traveling for years, decades, or even centuries, to reach Earth - just in order to then hide from us - makes no sense in the least. The "non-interference directive" is a goofy, idealistic invention by the writers of Star Trek, not an actual "interstellar law" passed in some imagined "Intergalactic Parliament Of Planets". I am highly suspicious of any suggestions that aliens would give a flying duck about it, i.e. actually care whether they'd be interfering in our oh-so precious development or not. Trekkies need to get their heads out of their (anal-probed) asses.

Jesus wept... Would aliens ever bother anal-probing these assholes?
Not that they wouldn't deserve it... Picard-hugging, politically-correct, pacifist knuckleheads...

Trekkies need to understand that if there are any space-faring aliens, then they most likely are not nearly as politically correct and "considerate" as 21st-century libtards are. (Of course, they are the total opposite of considerate, but this is in fact how libtards perceive themselves.) Surely, a highly intelligent species that has mastered interstellar travel can't possible be so stupid as to become politically correct? Mutually exclusive, I say.

"Oh yes, we must travel centuries to get to this Earth, with its numerous sexy human anuses, but when we get there, we must not in any way shape or form interfere with their natural development (except the anal-probing, which doesn't count, we just can't resist peeking into those smelly dark human holes). We must not even step on an ant for fear of the infamous butterfly effect which might just ruin human development!... But, we are allowed to anal-probe them..."

There are people, usually gullible left-wingers, who actually believe in this naive, optimistic scenario, but I think the notion of politically correct, pacifist, hippie aliens is even less realistic than that of super-intelligent aliens that hop from one star system to another. Trekkies definitely romanticize and idealize this harsh universe way too much. Most Trekkies voted for Obama. Most Trekkies are riddled with white guilt. Most Trekkies are self-loathing nerds. Most of them are buffoons residing in their Disney bubbles..

If aliens ever visited us, basic common sense suggests that they might not be nearly as concerned about being seen by us, as some paranoid, optimistic and confused humans believe. It would make much more sense to assume that such space-faring aliens would be so superior to us, that they wouldn't have the least need to hide - since they wouldn't have any reason to fear us. Because if they're god-like, then why would they fear us mere ants? Does a biologist get hang-ups about urinating on a tree - for fear of being embarrassed if a bug observes them in the act?

And even if they did have the need to hide from us stupid Earthlings, for whatever reasons, wouldn't they have to be successful at it? Yet, they rarely seem to be, according to ufologists. So aliens are smart enough to come all the way here, but are too dumb to hide properly? How convenient.

But I guess that many people have trouble separating the world of real science and common sense from the world of Hollywood and sci-fi pulp - which they are exposed to far more. There is no denying the tremendous influence that sci-fi novels, comic-books, but especially movies, computer games and TV shows, have had on the psyches of people who lean toward succumbing to lies and fantasy.

Bullshit is a very seductive whore. So much more fun than facts.

"Ok... When I'm done counting I'm gonna start lookin' for ya!... If I don't find you in three minutes I will just have to assume that you were abducted by little green aliens and will phone The National Enquirer!"

Jumping to conclusions: a favourite pastime of nearly all UFOlogists.

The true reason why nearly all aliens are portrayed as hide-and-seeking, overly shy retards is obvious: it's a self-serving argument that allows UFOlogists to not have to present any concrete physical proof of their visitations - which in turn enables them to perpetuate this idiotic myth ad nauseum.

3.

THESE "GENIUS" ALIENS WOULD HAVE TO BE AS POWERFUL AS GODS

"I used to be green and ugly - but now I look just like your local Santa!"

To simply assume, casually, that there must be creatures out there that have practically no technological limitations (and any distant-star aliens that could reach Earth would have to have such absurd powers, by definition) is incredibly naive - and reveals very lazy thinking and a lack of common sense.

For any species to conquer space to the extent where they can travel anywhere they want, while using ultra-mega-giga-guga-speeds or magical space-bending/space-cheating warp-speed methods, places them on an equal footing with the most powerful gods we silly humans had ever invented.

It's highly questionable whether any living being can devise a way to get anywhere close to traveling at the speed of light, and yet there are many ufologists out there who foolishly believe in warp speeds and other such nonsense, i.e. speeds that actually go way beyond the speed of light. Proof? None.Or they cling on to far-fetched theories about worm holes and how by using them we can bend space-time, just like that, as if space-time were some silly play-thing for creatures to toy with at will. Someone needs to explain to these dolts about the vast distances between theories and facts, not just interstellar distances. 

But for some people Star Trek  is scientific education, rather than just mindless entertainment. Trekkies are left-wing clowns, and I cannot mock them enough. Left-wingers never had an easy time with logic, which is why Trekkie stupidity makes so much sense. Or the fact that their versions of aliens are even more moronic than they themselves are.

If we give these fictitious aliens god-like powers, then they are gods, for all practical purposes. And if they're gods, then they can't be aliens, i.e. regular living beings like us. Then they are gods, period. We cannot confuse the two, gods and living creatures, because they are mutually exclusive. If aliens are all-powerful, then they can't be mere mortals, so they must be gods. Quite bloody simple. You can't have your cake and it too. Either they're aliens or gods.

Ufologists simply make a series of wishful-thinking-based assumptions based on non-observable "facts", wild guesses, and highly dubious "proofs", then reach far-fetched fanciful conclusions that simply have no basis in reality whatsoever, i.e. which are utterly and totally unscientific. Just like regular church-goers.

Religious people who believe in little green aliens can be "forgiven", because they had usually been trained since birth to not exercise skepticism. But people who proudly call themselves "atheists" (and they nearly all proudly call themselves that, having a false sense of superiority toward believers) yet still believe in all this childish nonsense - they're the ones with no excuses. They are quasi-atheists. (Just like communists are wannabe atheists.) Most atheists are anyway just believers-in-denial who pretend not to believe, but they often believe in at least one major religious-like phenomenon.

I needed to expand slightly on the subject of atheism, simply to dispel the notion that as an atheist I am biased toward them. I am not. I dislike believers and atheists equally. In fact, I find atheists generally more obnoxious than believers, at least when it comes millennials and Xers.

Belief in all-powerful aliens is not very different than belief in a supernatural creature that controls the universe. Both systems of thinking are guided by a similar disregard for logic, evidence (i.e. lack of it), and a penchant for pseudo-science, and are fueled by mere wishful thinking. But whereas some religious people are smart enough to at least admit that they are making a leap of faith, which is perfectly fine, ufologists insist that their own religion is totally scientific. When in fact it is utter baloney.

4.

HOW UFOLOGY IS ACTUALLY JUST ANOTHER RELIGION

There are many aspects of ufology that doubtlessly define it as a religion, or at least very religion-like, hence its adherents as religious.

1) Many of them miss no opportunity to negate the belief system of any religion they are not part of. They take, hijack, borrow aspects of other religions (Jesus descending from Heaven, for example) and give those events new spins, new goofy interpretations for which they cannot offer any evidence at all. Christianity was born by giving Judaism a new spin. Now ufologists are in the process of creating, (or have already done so), yet another religion based on others before them. This was achieved by taking a new spin on Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism and any other religion they can get their grubby little hands on.

Just like nearly every other religion, ufology regards other religions as its "competition", their rivals. Of course, some ufologists cheat by staying "faithful" to their initial religion, desperately trying to make a plausible, logical connection between it (usually Christianity) and this newly invented UFO nonsense. Other times, ufologists fight competing religions just as hard as they fight science. This is nothing new: competing religions have been fighting each other for thousands of years. Like rival gangs fighting over territory and wealth. And influence. (They all want to have the monopoly on bullshit - which in a bullshit world such as ours is mission impossible.)

Ufologists also (mis)use certain aspects of other religions and science whenever it suits them, i.e. they twist facts, questionable beilefs, and non-facts to make them forcibly fit their own nonsensical UFO theories.

2) Any belief in creatures whose existence hasn't been proven at all falls into supernatural belief. Leprechauns, ghosts, witches, Santa, Bigfoot, vampires, trolls, the Yeti. We can add little green ass-probing aliens to that group, easily. The only difference between aliens and leprechauns is time: the former are a modern invention, the latter have a far longer history.

3) Ufologists make up their own rules when it comes to their pseudo-science, much like the Vatican had done in the Middle Ages. Catholic popes had insisted that the Earth was flat - simply because it looked flat to the casual observer - just as a ufologist ignores the most basic scientific principles, simply because they interfere with his dreams, hopes and fantasies of greenish aliens visiting Earth, just because he sees a photo of a UFO in the yellow press. That photo, or footage, leaves a much more powerful impression on him than a scientific text on the subject.

Is there any evidence of faster-than-light travel? No. It's all pure speculation, very far-fetched, to put it mildly. Is there any evidence that worm-holes can actually - not theoretically - be used for covering vast distances in short amounts of time? No. Yet ufologists had already decided that this is easily achievable, and that our fictional green "neighbours" already have that capacity. Proof? None. Just wild assumptions based on nothing.

Just because the universe is so vast does not mean that anything will happen or can happen in it - especially within the relatively narrow time-frame during which it has been in existence. Our Solar System is even younger, which only limits even further the odds of alien encounters.

Just like other religions, ufology picks and chooses the parts of science that suits it, and discards the rest as "rubbish" - or very childishly pretends it isn't there.

Just like many other religions, ufology dabbles in pseudo-science, wanting so badly to be taken seriously by the scientific community, but they fail miserably because their methods are anything but scientific.

"Hey, we thought Jesus was cool for dying for our sins, but how about Jesus being an alien from planet Zong - and dying for our sins! Wow, how cool is that!"

4) Many former Christians are now rabid ufologists. Did they become atheists by abandoning Christ? No. They merely switched religions. It is very rare for "former" believers to become total non-believers; that very rarely happens. Religious folk who abandon the religion handed to them at birth usually replace it with something else that is equally promising of bliss, glory and adventure: Marxism, ufology, New Age esoteric nonsense, i.e. any other bullshit that can fill that lust for religious belief - a void that is always there, in 99 percent of us.

Many current Christians have become ufologists. Sometimes people who already exist within a religious system adopt ufology as a sort of "additional fun plaything" that makes Jesus even more interesting. Some of these UFO Christians subscribe to crackpot theories which are nothing short of heretical in Christianity, which are in direct conflict with the most basic tenets of the Bible.

5) Just like those goofy Creationists, ufologists insist that they have "abundant evidence" of the hogwash they believe in. In fact, just like those desperate, luckless Creationists, UFO aficionados have absolutely nothing. Zilch. Nada. No proof whatsoever.

That is why they are so loud and persistent - because bullshit can be swallowed only when force-fed - and for a long period of time. Liars always shout the loudest. And they bombard you with so much nonsense at once, that you don't even have the time to disprove it all, despite each and every claim being easily disprovable. Like being avalanched with tons of dung from a sewer, and then being expected to clean yourself within a minute. This strategy even has a name: Gish Gallop - the art of bombarding your victim with so much garbage that the victim feels too overwhelmed to fights such a fool.

6) Like other religious fanatics, ufologists are driven by emotion, not rational thought. Just as proponents of other religions, ufologists are driven by the need to believe. This incredibly strong urge overrides any logic, facts, or science. Ufology is a security blanket for its adherents.

"You're not green, but I still love you..."

7) Christians and Moslems have a God who knows and controls everything. Certain ufologists have god-like aliens that know and control everything.

Why do ufologists always put aliens on an intellectual pedestal?

Aside from the obvious reasons, such as the capability of interstellar travel i.e. having a "legitimate" explanation for their visitations to Earth, why else do all ufologists (and I mean literally all of them) assign aliens ultra-superior intelligence and abilities?

Could it be because these people feel inferior hence project their own sense of inferiority by imagining only aliens totally superior to themselves? Or is it because "the grass is greener on the other side"? Dumb (religious) optimism? Many ufologists got the idea that aliens exist in Utopian societies, that they enjoy all the benefits of super-advanced, harmonious civilizations that we humans lack. This would be extremely naive, because why would humans be the least developed of all "rational" species? Why would other species become so advanced, that they are able to avoid the same trappings of existence (territoriality, survival through killing, limited resources, selfishness, evil) that we have to contend with?

After all, the one crucial thing humans must share with all potential "advanced" species in our universe - wherever they may be - is that we are all subject to the same Physical laws hence limitations hence fallibility. This is something ufologists do not know and probably could not understand even if it were explained to them. Cannot understand or refuse to understand? Probably both. Denial and stupidity are their key traits.

Obviously, ufologists assign divine traits of perfection and infinite power to aliens for the same reason religious people assign perfection and infinite power to their god(s): the hope that the universe isn't all harshness, that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Ufology is 100% religious.

5.

SURELY ALIEN TOURISTS HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN RAM THINGS UP OUR ASSES

The notion that an ultra-mega-guga-giga-developed species would actually bother traveling all the way from whatever corner of our galaxy, (or even more absurd - a different galaxy!), just to see what our bum holes look like from the inside, implies that these aliens are either: 1) utter idiots (which would be a huge contradiction), or 2) shit or ass fetishists (which would imply that being god-like unavoidably leads to perversion and degeneracy).

If you want to believe in green insect-like genius shit/ass fetishists that roam the universe, looking for bums to poke into, then be my guest. Just don't try to inject science into it, because frankly you can only embarrass yourself.

Just so you don't think I am being too flippant about this, consider the fact that many alleged abduction victims and witnesses, whose stories are taken seriously by many ufologists, include funny anecdotes which entail ass-probing and the like.

The fact that aliens are often portrayed as ass-probing perverts tells us in no uncertain terms that this rather unscientific idea stems from the mind of some silly, clueless, wildly imaginative science-challenged human, and not from any actual "abducted victim survivor" of yet another pointless anal probe.

The idea of anal-probing can be traced back to the very basic human fear of rape (that one way with which both sexes can be sexually assaulted). Perhaps that's all it is. Having your bum-hole poked without permission - that must be the ultimate physical intrusion, which might explain why this cretinous anal-probing shtick made it all the way into UFO lore, right at the top of the UFO charts, in fact.

"What would make aliens truly frightening? If they raped us!" But at least they use mechanical "dildos", rather than their own genitals, right?

Then again, as a friend of mine pointed out, perhaps aliens know of some incredible cosmic secrets that the human ass might hold - especially the bum-hole of an American redneck, which seems to be particularly popular among our unfriendly invaders. Perhaps the meaning of life itself is to be found up our comically-designed fannies? And these smart aliens know about it, but obviously aren't capable of obtaining that knowledge very speedily, hence keep coming back for more and more probes. (Just how many asses do they need to dissect before finally ending their research?)

Other behavioural stereotypes attributed to all these highly fictional alien invaders are usually just as dumb - and directly traceable to very human motives and fears.

6.

HOW THE HELL WOULD DISTANT ALIENS EVEN KNOW THAT EARTH HAS LIFE?

"From radio-waves we discovered that it is YOU who created the sitcom Friends so we decided to WIPE YOU OUT!"

Any travel-happy aliens would first have to find out about our existence (then find strong reasons to visit us), before wasting tremendous energy, resources and time on getting all the way here.

Barring god-like magical powers, the surest way - and also the only true scientific way - they could find out about us are radio-waves. These waves travel at the speed of light, i.e. they may be incredibly fast, but they do have a speed limit. Besides, speed, just as size, can be very relative concepts. In other words, these waves take a hell of a long time to get around, in the unimaginably large universe that we inhabit.

The earliest radio signals produced by humans, (and sent into outer space), are just over 100 years old. This means that only those planets that exist within a 100-light-year radius from us would be able to detect them, hence find out about us. There are extremely few planets within this radius, especially habitable planets. Back in the fifties, when aliens supposedly massively visited us, that radius was even smaller. Much smaller.

Keep in mind also that any aliens receiving our radio-waves right now, for the first time, would need over 100 years to reach us - and that's assuming that they'd developed ultra-mega-guga-giga spaceships that travel at the speed of light, which is itself a far-fetched assumption that cannot simply be made off-hand - based on the very cliche notion that all aliens must be super-advanced, making us dumb humans seem like useless insects by comparison.

On the other hand, the fanciful and highly romantic notion that aliens simply roam the galaxy randomly, like Hollywood cowboys roaming the prairie, looking for undiscovered cow-bums and redneck anuses to anally probe, is an asinine assumption.

"They just happen to have bumped into Earth". Surely, any intelligent beings would be just as limited by resources, vast distances, and the very clear-cut laws of physics, as we are, hence would travel only to regions where they more-or-less know what to expect, what to find. The idea that an alien ship would just happen to bump randomly into our solar system must have been concocted by someone who thinks the universe is the size of a watermelon - and that aliens are just incredibly bored adventurers.

To negate this simple and obvious scientific fact (that laws of physics places clear limits on us all: green, pink and black) would be to consider aliens as powerful as gods. But I have already covered that nonsense.

7.

YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO

Either your green bugs are utterly superior or they're just as clumsy and stupid as we are. Make up your bloody mind. you can't have both.

UFO fanatics believe in super-advanced ultra-intelligent species that are able to do pretty much anything they want to, i.e. creatures with limitless powers. And yet, these same ufologists also believe that such advanced, practically perfect beings (for whom we must appear as mere bugs), would be stupid and clumsy enough to be detected - while trying to hide from us, and that they would actually be sloppy enough to leave clues of their visits left and right for anybody to find: especially village idiots, kids, rednecks, and drunks - specific demographics who somehow always seem to be around when an alien spaceship lands somewhere in rural Kansas.

Surely, such advanced creatures would have no problems whatsoever in ensuring that they not be detected or seen by any single human if they choose to - and yet there are thousands of sightings of these "secretive aliens". Oh, so these all-powerful beings ARE incompetent after all?

This contradiction is blatant and silly, plus it gives additional insight into the child-like logic of ufologists.

8.

ALL OF THEIR "PROOFS" ARE BLURRY

This is the best they've got...?

In this day and age, when any idiot can produce crystal-clear photos and videos there is absolutely no excuse for UFO sightings to always turn out to be shite-looking. Advances in mobile phone technology must be giving ufologists headaches. They have no more excuses. Which is why in recent years the focus had shifted from bad fake footage of sightings to really dumb pseudo-documentaries about "ancient aliens"?

You bet your (probed) ass.

The reason why these shite images are always blurry - and always will be - is the same as why all Loch Ness monster clips are blurry and why Bigfoot always looks like a distant blurry idiot dressed in a shoddy ape suit. Because all of it is bullshit designed to make money, or at least attract attention. Of course, attention = money. For some people money isn't the incentive, just the attention. Being on TV or "going viral" on the internet has become an obsession for millions of delusional Xers and millennials.

Every single "alien ship" photo and film-footage has been disproved as being either fake, as physical phenomena that can be explained away scientifically, as a military or civilian craft, or as a result of various optical illusions. Ufologists flat out LIE when they say this isn't the case. They describe many "incidents" as "still unexplained" whereas they are not. They hire former pilots and even corruptible scientists to help them convince you that ufology isn't bullshit. And it the media is on their side, because the media is controlled by an Establishment that is left-wing: it wants you to be dumbed-down, so they can more easily manipulate you politically.

Ufologists trust their own senses more than they trust science - and that alone tells us how clueless they are, and how little they understand human senses, i.e. how flawed and unreliable these senses can be.

Especially when used by morons.

(Another group of organized morons which prefers to trust their "feelings" rather than science are climate change activists. They often speak of their feelings and emotions when discussing Greenland, and often get over-emotional doing so. Never trust an over-emotional nitwit when they're handing out "scientific information" i.e. bullshit propaganda. In the hands of a rational, calm, intelligent person science can be a tool, but in the hands of a child or child-like adult there can only be bogus science. For example that semi-crazy upper-class nitwit Sweden gave us, Greta Turdberg.)

The fact is that desperate ufologists still haven't got an iota of physical proof, or a photo, or anything whatsoever. This is where their bullshit comes in handy: when you are stuck without any evidence then bullshit, religious fervour and lies are all that you have got left to work with. You deliver those lies very loudly because flawed arguments spoken out loudly, with aggression and zealotry, become more convincing - at least to many naive people out there.

Proofs don't get any proofier than this amazing piece of evidential proofanity. The science of proofifying very evident evidence is an activity UFOlogist proof-meisters have fine-tuned into a perfect art.
Try to disprove this proofofanity - if you can!
And anyway, if you're trying to disprove an alien invasion - then you must be one of them!

9.

IF THIS CLOWN TELLS YOU SOMETHING, BELIEVE THE OPPOSITE

Just look at this baby-faced charlatan with his silly attention-grabbing hair, his inane sly grin, and ridiculous solarium tan. Would you actually believe anything someone like this said? He resembles a Jersey Shore Guido who missed his last 500 gym sessions because he was trying to tackle "science" instead. GTL, Gym Tanning Laundry, becomes ATL: Aliens Tanning Laundry.

This meme buffoon is a litmus test for bullshit. He is the bullshit meme of our age. And it's no coincidence that a prominent UFOlogist had become a symbol for bullshit. Even extremist political organizations can't come up with quite as much bullshit as UFOlogists. Even climate change assholes aren't this bad.

If he had been born 150 years earlier, he would have been one of those scoundrels who sold fake medicine bottles to the desperately ill. Every generation has its brigade of charlatans and crooks, and it is our job to weed them out, point them out, and make them stay out - of science. It's not our job to foolishly fall for their bullshit. Or to merely laugh at them. This guy isn't just a comedy act, he isn't just some harmless clown; he is helping dumb-down millions, which may have serious consequences. Of course, he is also a symptom not just the cause, and he is just a very tiny part of a much larger problem. The dumbing-down problem.

Dumbing-down: brought to you by the Left since the late 60s. They won't tire until they control 100% of all western media, turning society into a pro-Orwellian hell.

The History Channel once started out as a documentary channel (seems like aeons ago), but over the years degenerated into yet another tool of intentional dumbing-down of the increasingly confused masses, because bullshit sells much better than truth, and because bullshit helps make people stupid, or even dumber. Because dumb people don't cause nearly as much trouble as intelligent, well-informed citizens. I you're gonna start a dictatorship, you want your masses to be as dumb as you can make them. Dumb means compliant, and compliant means "stable dictatorship".

People love their bullshit; they prefer to be lied to. This is why we've always had religions, and always will.

10.

ANCIENT ALIENS WERE SOMEHOW INFINITELY POWERFUL WHILE OUR ANCESTORS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN EXCEPTIONALLY USELESS

So-called "ancient aliens" built the pyramids, they built our rockets, they taught us maths and physics... Hell, they probably even designed our children's toys and toilet-paper wrappings, because clearly humankind is too incompetent to do anything without their help.

Check out that triangle-head on the left. Ufologists love it when the aliens are being this fashionable: makes them more convincing, and interesting. Ufologists are like little children; they love flashy images and amazing claims. To them, an illustration such as this is practically the same as proof!

Ancient Aliens ufologists cannot give any credit to our human ancestors - for anything. They strip ancient civilizations of all achievements - just so they can advance their infantile, horseshit theories. In their eyes, all our ancestors - whether Mayan, Egyptian, Greek, Chinese or Inca - were far too stupid and incompetent to have built or devised or achieved anything that required any kind of skills in mathematics or engineering.

In brief, their dumb unspoken conclusion is: "our ancestors were a bunch of dummies, who had everything to thank our green ancient alien buddies for". According to them, all early human civilizations were just a bunch of retards who had everything handed to them on a plate by large green monsters!

Those who foolishly believe that ancient aliens provided the first steps toward the development of human civilization, totally negate all the hard work, intelligence, and innovation that actual - real - people put into constructing amazing structures, such as the pyramids.

Ufologists find it hard to believe that humans can do anything on their own - perhaps because these UFO clowns themselves feel inadequate and incompetent. In psychology, this is called "projection". They project their own stupidity and lack of self-esteem onto our ancestors many of whom were geniuses compared to these UFO-hugging ninnies.

It is here where the starkest similarity between Marxism and ufology becomes apparent. So intensely arrogant is Ancient Aliens ufologist lunacy that they give themselves the right to attempt to re-write all of history - from scratch. Just like Marxists have tried. Just like those homicidal, dumb Marxists, ufologists also refuse to give our ancestors much credit for anything. Hence, it is no surprise that Marxists and ufologists also share several similar psychological anomalies and aberrations. The main difference between them though is that Marxists want to start killing off people as soon as possible, whereas ufologists have no such evil, hidden agenda. Ufologists are more like harmless, bored nerds and misfits, whereas Marxists are the true violent misfits and sociopaths. Isn't that right, Soros?

Lifting off or landing?
I love portable pyramids; they don't seem to be too aerodynamic, but what a way to impress the humans you're about to molest!

It's a safe bet that ancient Egyptians were regularly anal-probed too, just as random hicks, cows and Hollywood actresses today...

Ufologists have a big problem understanding how humans could have built these pyramids - and yet they have no issues believing in enormous pyramids flying through the cosmos!
Yup, ufologists do in fact unquestioningly bow down to fictional aliens just as Moslems or Christians bow down to their fictional god. No difference whatsoever.

Ancient Aliens ufologists will hijack any ancient ruin, building, ornament, or statue, and claim it as their alien own. The more advanced the building, the weirder-looking the figurine, the more excited they get - as if weirdness and large size somehow automatically equate to "extraterrestrial". And as always, they haven't an iota of proof, just random conjecture.

Like all zealots, the more rabid ufologists seem to always steer toward extremes.

Commandment 1. Aliens are perfect, advanced in every way, flawless, (except when they get found out by incredibly ingenious village idiots and hicks in rural Kansas), and aliens are great, (i.e. god-like), and much like gods - if not like actual gods, (which again reveals the religious-like "thinking" that guides all ufologists).

Commandment 2. Humans are just silly little pawns, goofy mindless marionettes who couldn't have achieved anything without a great amount of help from those comical, illogical, fictional, but superior aliens. Einstein and Bohr? Probably just robots planted by aliens.

The one-track-mindedness of ufologists should make any rational person question their sanity, common-sense, and in many cases their honesty as well.

Look at this photo. Looks like an astronaut - hence it must be an ancient astronaut, because it is hanging on an old building. Conclusion? Aliens created man!

This is how easily UFO freaks get duped. They see this kind of sculpture hanging on a Spanish cathedral, and their mouths start to water, their tiny brains start to melt like butter on a fat American's Wal-Mart-carting ass! Of course, they don't even want to consider for a moment that appearances might be deceptive, that there is some other explanation.

How many of them actually bother to find out that this cute little thing was commissioned in 1992? It is not part of the original 1102-made edifice, and that's the one fact relating to this object they don't really want to know about.

Denial is the escapist route of the perpetual coward.

11.

ANCIENT ALIENS ARE A FANCIFUL, CHILDISH MYTH

There isn't an iota of proof, not a speck of evidence, not a milligram of an indication that humans stem from some sort of "alien seed" placed here on Earth thousands of years ago by god-like green schmucks, as is explored in rather embarrassing, fictitious and cretinous detail on History Channel's opportunistic and bullshit Ancient Aliens  serial.

Still not convinced? Scientologists believe in alien visitors too. Their entire philosophy/quasi-religion is based on some horseshit story about an alien Nazi who used Earthlings as storage devices for his wicked alien brood. A B-movie-type plot as basis for a "religion"? Why not!

Sure, the fact that goofy Scientologists (whom we all laugh at) believe in A doesn't mean that A is necessarily false. (This would be one of the basic logic fallacies.) It's nevertheless fun to mention Scientologists in this context. It doesn't prove that UFOlogists are wrong, but it doesn't exactly help their ca(u)se either!

Which begs the question... Is the "Church" of Scientology financing Ancient Aliens? Despite never mentioning Xenu (the alien Nazi) by name, the show promotes a very similar kind of bullshit which Scientology is based on.

12.

THE UFO CRAZE STARTED IN THE 50s

Why don't the Middle Ages, the Ancient Greeks, or Ancient Egyptians have abundant drawings, theories, stories and speculations about all those alleged aliens? By that I mean real evidence, not some random connect-the-dots bullshit.

The answer is obvious. The huge technological leap which took place (in the 20th century, obviously) gave us the opportunity to dream of aliens, hence dream up laughable hypothesis about alien UFOs, their visits, their pointless anus probes, and all the other green related malarkey. Before thirties pulp comics and 50s B-movies made aliens part of popular culture, hardly anyone even thought of alien creatures, let alone of them visiting Earth. H.G. Wells came just a little before that.

How convenient that Martians started visiting us - at the very precise time when humans were coming out of their lengthy cave existence, i.e. Martians started developing flying machines precisely at the same time as humans started technologically evolving.

What a "coincidence" that is.

13.

THE VAST MAJORITY OF UFO SIGHTINGS OCCUR IN THE STATES

Apparently, aliens prefer to anal-probe Americans. Because they're so damn fat? Are aliens chubby-chasing anus-fetishists? Because Americans are well off so aliens can demand ransom money and get wealthy abducting them? Because America has the most hipsters? Do hipsters have softer asses more easy to probe? Who knows. UFOlogists never offer any explanations for this absurd bias toward the North American continent. Absurd, yet totally logical.

There is no logical reason why such a ridiculously disproportionate percentage of sightings should be in the States - other than the obvious fact that Americans are the biggest fans of this nonsense hence make up this drivel and believe in it more than other people. So obviously - and logically - most "abductions" are of Americans. I've never heard of an alien abduction story set in Angola.

A starving Angolan man has more pressing issues to attend to - such as bare-naked survival, hence has no time for dreaming of alien visitation, which is why he doesn't see any alien ships hovering above his head. You see what you want to see, that is human behaviour. Many Americans and other westerners are well-fed hence bored, seeking new thrills to fill their empty lives with. Affluence and comfort breeds boredom (and stupidity, which the Western World had proven time and time again in this century).

It's so lop-sided that one almost equates UFOs with America, that's how closely linked they've been since the 50s. Only in recent years has UFOlogy spread more outwards. Now we have UFO enthusiasts almost everywhere in great numbers. We mostly have America's cretinous pop culture to thank for that. One of America's worst exports, along with Coca-Cola,  Cultural Marxism and white guilt.

Our pathologically shy alien visitors must hate the Russian cold, the African heat, and European architecture. Yeah, that must be it; that must be why they usually choose to visit the States. Or perhaps American cows and drunkards are much easier to beam up and ass-rape. 

14.

THE VAST MAJORITY OF ASTRONOMERS, PHYSICISTS, COSMOLOGISTS AND ASTRO-PHYSICISTS AGREE THAT IT'S ALL A BUNCH OF CRAP

A lying moron - according to UFOlogists.

Those few scientists that advertise UFOs as alien ships (for example by appearing on Ancient Aliens) are the kind of greedy dishonest bastards who don't have any moral qualms about making money off disinformation, misusing their college diplomas to fatten up their bank-accounts. They are similar to all those amoral intellectuals who decide to support extreme right-wing or left-wing tyrannies for personal profit (won't mention any names cough cough Noam Chomsky).

Intelligent people choose to listen to expert opinion. Naive people choose to get all of their "education" on YouTube's numerous UFO channels.

If you think scientists' majority view on scientific issues isn't relevant, then it's best you stop reading this list right now. Switch on your TV. Oprah is on. Or wrestling.

15.

THE MILITARY IS ALWAYS "HIDING SOMETHING" BUT IT'S NEVER GREEN ALIENS

Or purple ones. Or pale white ones. There are no aliens tucked away, anywhere. Not in this solar system, anyway.

(OK, you got me, ufologists! This is an actual photo from Area 51, re-painted by "the government" into purple to hide the aliens' identity). 

SECRECY = ALIENS.

A well-known bullshit equation, used by UFOlogists. If there is a secret, it must be UFO-related.

EXTREME SECRECY = ALIENS HAVE ALREADY INFILTRATED SOCIETY.

Another well-known bullshit formula, their favourite. They watch too many movies.

Ufologists, I mean. Not aliens. No movies are currently being watched by aliens, at least not here on Earth, because there aren't any.

There aren't any aliens, I mean. Not movies. There are way too many movies. Dumb movies about alien abduction, for example.

But back to the equations above...

These typical ufologist equations are used time and time again as a means of "proving" various military and government conspiracies. Wild theorizing and conjecture do not constitute evidence. Real reasons for top secrecy are numerous. To utilize one all-purpose explanation for all cases of top secrecy, is child-like simplification carried to the extreme. Charlatanry 101.

Just because the military has secret installations in which they conduct various tests that are away from public view or knowledge does not in the least have anything to do with green monsters from outer space. Or purple ones. To make that kind of a deductive leap is infantile to the extreme. "The military is actually involved in secret activities? How can that be possible?! They must be hiding aliens! That's the only explanation!"

This is the thought process of a child.

Also the thought process of paranoid schizophrenics. There is a parallel there.

Ufologists are brainwashed by Hollywood to believe that the military is run by sociopaths who want to kill off or enslave everyone on Earth, especially Americans - the people they are employed to protect. Hollywood is not only a dream factory, it is not only a bullshit factory. It is also a communist factory, with its own devious agenda. (Note the irony.) Two words: cultural Marxism. The American film industry sells and promotes - among other things - white guilt, reverse racism, wildly inaccurate historic fables, thinly-veiled socialism, pedophilia and other manner of sexual perversion, the drug culture. In short, propaganda and rubbish of all shapes and sizes. Last but not least: they love to sell rebellion. That is one of their favourites. Rebellion. Because it's so hip to be counter-culture, anti-Establishment. (Ironically, cultural Marxism is now promoted by the Establishment itself, so they have toned down on the "rebellion".) 

Rebellion is an essential part of revolution, a red revolution that Hollywood's Marxists have been fantasizing about for nearly a century. This involves the undermining then destruction of the capitalist infrastructure, the overthrowing of democracy. This is the principal reason why Hollywood sells movies that are blatantly against authority. For example, the police force is usually portrayed as corrupt, racist and evil. The same goes for the U.S. military: it is often portrayed as genocidal and conspiring ceaselessly against its own people. Nearly all ufologists have bought into this liberal scam, this shameless self-serving lie; fell for it hook line and sinker, like the gullible, easily manipulated idiots that they are. Which is why ufologists have zero trust in the U.S. military. Ufologists are so stupid that they fear the U.S. military much more than Islamic terrorism, more than any other foreign threats! Ufologists inhabit a fictional bubble created for them, and other morons like them, by the liberal Establishment who are the actual rulers in the West. Another irony...

UFO loons and charlatans often use military secrecy as their Wild Card. They base most of their paranoid, wild theories around the military.

"The military won't say anything, hence they must be hiding something in there, hence they must be hiding aliens. They refuse to tell us anything, which is proof they are hiding scary monsters that want to rule the Earth! They've already joined the aliens to rule America!"

Desperately idiotic conjecture aided by rampant paranoia, that's all it is. Wild guessing is all they have, since absolutely nothing they offer is even minimally based on facts or science.

Of course the U.S. military isn't about to reveal to these ufologist idiots what it is that they are testing, in Hangars 18, 19, 26, 29, 57 or 356. Why would they reveal anything? You don't just knock at the Pentagram's door and fire a barrage of questions. The Pentagram isn't an Information stand at a mall. Ufologists actually feel entitled to this knowledge, and when they don't get it they conclude that they were in the right all along. UFO enthusiasts are so comical, and most of them are stupid beyond belief.

Ufologists, like all brainwashed cattle, are of course utterly unaware that they are brainwashed and manipulated by their real enemies. Unfortunately, ufologists don't know who their real enemies are. They are in Hollywood, in the liberal media, in terrorist cells, in the Kremlin, in Berlin. Not in flying saucers, devising ways to probe your ass, for no apparent logical reason.

Perhaps some people become ufologists to escape reality, to run away from all these ugly political realities. Who knows.

Your tiny brain is what they are hiding, Bill Birnes. And as the tiniest object in the universe, it's pretty damn easy to hide! Even truffle-sniffing French pigs wouldn't be able to find it!

Not all prominent ufologists, i.e. the daftly named "UFO hunters", are liars. Some of them are genuinely confused, that is to say just as stupid as they appear. Like this goofy character.

Is he just a character though? Perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe he is just a great actor. (A master character actor.) Maybe he doesn't believe in any of this bullshit. If he is just a charlatan he should get an Oscar for making that dumb, confused, angry face, time and time again. Very convincing. If that really is just acting then he deserves several rounds of applause.

UFO hunters. They might as well call themselves wind chasers, or ghost seekers. Even a cat chasing its own tail is engaged in a more intellectual, more productive activity than these hunters of elusive flying saucers.

I never bought into the hype that animals are inferior to humans: that only applies to roughly 1% of Earth's human population.

16.

THE GOVERNMENT WOULDN'T HIDE IT BUT WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO REVEAL IT

Just another 1942 UFO convention...

If only they had anything to reveal.

Think about it. Why would a bunch of politicians keep something like a discovery of an alien ship a secret? Sure, they might perhaps keep it secret for a short while until they get the facts sorted out, but not forever, because there is no logical reason for such all-out paranoid secrecy.

Even if there were aspects of an alien UFO find that a government wanted to keep secret (such as new weaponry) they could always reveal the details that are not related to that specific aspect, and keep other parts secret. It's not as if partial secrecy would be anything new for a government to opt for. Or for any random civilian, in fact.

In fact, any U.S. President would be absolutely thrilled to have such a monumental discovery be presented to the world, during his mandate. It would be a boon for his re-election campaign, if anything, and a huge boost for his own Ego, to go down in history as the man whose government first encountered and had contact with an alien race. Just imagine the huge smile on the face of a typical narcissistic president, as he takes a picture of himself next to an alien craft, letting all of the media show it to the world.

The only logical reason why some governments might hypothetically want to hide the discovery of alien visitors is to prevent the much-touted but overblown "mass hysteria". There is a theory presented by certain anthropologists and/or psychologists, that the masses would panic if offered evidence of alien intrusion, that the consequences of such a revelation would rock the foundations of our civilization.

Personally, I think they are being overly dramatic.

Ironically, however, ufologists very rarely or never mention this explanation for the secrecy. Why not? Most likely because that would be a reasonable motive for hiding aliens from the public, plus it would make the (American) government seem sensible - which is not in the interest of authority-loathing ufologists. They only promote the idea of an evil government and they do their very best to portray the government, and especially the military, as well as the CIA, as evil entities. (And that's another similarity ufologists share with communists. "The U.S. government and military are wicked, and want to kill and enslave their own people.")

All believers in wild theories love to include extreme secrecy into their stupid stories because this (they believe) allows them to argue the existence of nonsense that (technically) cannot be either proven or disproved. How convenient, self-serving, and transparent. Burden of proof, anyone?

17.

N.A.S.A. WOULD BE EVEN HAPPIER THAN THE GOVERNMENT TO REVEAL ALIENS TO THE PUBLIC

NASA is in love with Mars. That much we already know.
NASA scientists would undergo voluntary castration, sterilization and partial lobotomy just to be able to find even a tiny, semi-retarded, half-dead microbe there - let alone something more substantial such a multi-cellular creature, an actual animal.

NASA bends over backwards, trying to find half of a microbe's leg or parts of a bacteria's arm on Mars. They've been trying desperately to find even the flimsiest of proofs of life on Mars for decades, to try and sell it to us as "proof of life". Anyone who hasn't noticed this desperation yet hasn't been paying much attention. There was even that famous case when they had announced a startling life-proving find, but which quickly turned out to be a screw-up on their part.

Rather than play down any "breakthroughs" they'd had in recent years, NASA has being doing the opposite. Any time someone found anything remotely resembling alien life, NASA was all over the news media, gleaming with joy. "We've got new indications of possible alien life on Mars!"

If NASA is that keen on advertising negligible finds on distant Mars as proof of life, then how do you think would they react if they, or SETI, actually detected a round, smooth space ship circling the head (or ass) of an Iowa cow?

They'd let us know about it. Probably no later than an hour after they'd made the discovery.

They are eager to please, not to hide. It's human nature. More importantly, it's 100% NASA's nature.

If you actually believe the gov't hides alien evidence then you can't trust NASA either, because they work for the government, basically. So who's left to trust? YouTube morons and various dumb, lying bloggers.

Ufologists need to first learn more about human nature i.e. themselves before trying to figure out the psychology of fictitious alien beings. Yet they behave as if they know almost everything about how these non-existent visitors act, and why they act as they do.

18.

NO LARGE-SCALE CONSPIRACY CAN EVER REMAIN UNDISCOVERED FOREVER

Aliens have no shame. Always coming to our solar system in the nude, the decadent bastards. Bloody animals, savages. Apparently, humans are the only advanced species in the entire universe that need clothing... Everyone else are savage nudists.

Americans hadn't even succeeded in keeping their nuclear-weapon secrets safe from the Russians and the Chinese, blundering repeatedly, so what cause is there to believe that they'd be any more successful in hiding an entire alien ship or aliens from the rest of the world? Especially for over half-a-century!

Not to mention how much more this fact is amplified in the age of the internet: the recent scandals with Snowden and Wikileaks have shown us that no secret information is totally safe anymore. There is zero chance that Area 51 kept aliens because at least some of this stuff would have leaked in the last decade, or much earlier even.

Why are there no alien-ship documents coming out of Wikileaks? Because there are none. A real annoyance for ufologists, yet another defeat they will have to invent an excuse for. A very dumb excuse, no doubt.

Any large conspiracy must by definition involve a large number of people. To actually believe that none of these people would eventually betray the conspirators by going to the media (for profit and/or fame) is very naive indeed. People simply aren't that disciplined or reliable. Especially nowadays when narcissism and materialistic greed are on the rise. A Snowden type of scenario would have been far less likely back in the 50s, so if anything, now is the time for all these "secret alien files" to surface. Where are they?

19.

UFOLOGISTS USE A VERY QUESTIONABLE VOCABULARY

Perhaps... maybe... what if... supposing that... if we assume that... if... if... if... if...

These words are the kind of vocabulary they use, because they have no facts to offer. It's all opportunistic conjecture, i.e. one big pile of useless shit. Semantic vagueness is their "weapon"; a series of non-arguments and very weak quasi-arguments piled up on top of another, leading to the always inevitable - and highly desired - conclusion that alien UFOs are all over the Solar System. And that the CIA has been taken over by slimy green space-travelers.

When you start off with a bullshit premise and you then build a whole series of assumptions atop and around that bullshit premise, what do you get? Extraterrestrials on Earth? No. You get a large pile of extraordinary terrestrial bullshit. You can't build a house using soft mud as its foundation, yet this is how UFOlogy works. Or why it doesn't work.

Their tales are no different than fairy-tales we tell to kids. No difference whatsoever. In fact, the probability that Snowhite and her seven dwarfs existed is higher than the odds that any alien anal-probing story is true. Because at least we know that midgets exist, as do women.

Using the "what if... let's assume... maybe if" line of non-thinking (found in every single episode of Ancient Aliens) I can easily "prove" that a large, 5-horned rhino is the President of Portugal. Using that kind of semantic nonsense as a crutch you can literally "prove" anything you want. The possibilities are endless. Especially if you are unaware of the concept of the burden of proof, or you simply don't give a shit about it.

"Could this actually be a secret meeting between members of the Portuguese cabinet?! Prove that it's NOT the case!"

Yes, thank you, Criswell...

20.

ALL NON-PROVABLE SELF-SERVING ARGUMENTS ARE BULLSHIT

The f**kers are everywhere.

Claims such as "aliens are among us, controlling all the governments, hence the truth about UFOs is hidden from the public"  are so idiotic that they should make you even firmer in your conviction that this whole UFO hoopla is a load of childish crap designed to make certain people rich, or at least (temporarily) famous.

Any time somebody is forced to resort to lofty conspiracy theories in order to convince you of something, know that the person is desperate for arguments hence has nothing of value to tell you.

UFOlogists devised a number of quasi-elaborate self-serving theories that preclude these theories being even questioned, let alone disproved. (Or so they believe.) They have nothing to offer in the concrete-proof scientific arena, so they dabble in wild conjecture and conspiracy theories - the last resort of the desperate fool or liar.

If all else fails, beam up a cow... The perennial UFO plan B.

21.

ALL "WITNESSES" ARE EITHER LIARS OR LOONS

Not one so-called witness has ever offered a speck of actual physical proof - other than their laughable tales of abduction, anal-probing, anal tests, anal tickling, and how they were then dumped on a cow-grazing field in Idaho after the anus had been thoroughly ravaged for no reason.

There is much money to be made from this UFO horseshit. It is a big business like anything else, a growing and lucrative one, and many desperate losers and greedy charlatans out there know it.

All confused UFO children need to learn this little "poem":

Anything in a wild claim is possible.

Not everything in a wild claim is probable.

Even fewer things in a wild claim are plausible.

And extremely few things in a wild claim are actual.

Note how the poem looks like a pyramid! Coincidence? Not likely.

Aliens.

I'm an alien, and this entire text has been written so that we green bastards at the CIA can overtake your world more easily! 

(That previous sentence will automatically vanish as soon as you read it... No, don't attempt to snapshot it, you will fail. Because we are omnipotent.)

The hell paradox: 

https://morepoliticalrants.blogspot.com/2020/10/the-hell-paradox.html

About moderation: 

https://morepoliticalrants.blogspot.com/2021/03/moderation-lost-art.html

About infinity: 

https://morepoliticalrants.blogspot.com/2020/11/a-crucial-misconception-about-infinity_30.html

Equality & Racism:

https://morepoliticalrants.blogspot.com/2020/09/equality-racism-honest-analysis.html

Female masochism: 

https://morepoliticalrants.blogspot.com/2021/01/female-masochism.html

Reincarnation: 

https://morepoliticalrants.blogspot.com/2020/11/why-reincarnation-makes-zero-sense.html