Noam Chomsky, Professional Liar

NOTE: For those readers new to this blog, I am a Serb who has spent decades living under various Socialist/Communist dictatorships, so I speak from experience: something you can't buy at Wal-Mart or gain from propagandist left-wing YouTube videos.

"He is the greatest intellectual in the world. I agree totally with his views on globalism." - Vojislav Seselj; former Hague Tribunal inmate, war criminal, ultra-nationalist, gay-basher, fanatical Putin supporter, ex(?)-Marxist and psychopath.

This is a collection of Chomsky-related excerpts from my much larger rant called "Marxism: A Guide For Gullible Clueless Westerners". Presented here are some of Professor Bullshit's quotes that I have deconstructed i.e. cleansed of all bullshit. Each quote has a translation that is a result of this de-bullshitization process. 

Keep in mind that all these excerpts have been taken out of the context in which I wrote them, but that they will make sense on the whole, even presented like this, randomly listed. Certainly, they will make infinitely more sense than the pure, unfiltered, undistilled bullshit offered to you by Professor Bullshit himself. 

The big fat irony is that this chronic bullshitter is (allegedly) a logician; this fact boggles the mind. Apparently, logic is something to which only others need adhere to, not the "Master Logician" himself; he is allowed to bullshit freely; to ignore facts, twist them, to spin, re-spin, and then spin again, with only very few people daring to oppose him. I am one of those few. (It's a shitty job but someone's gotta do it.)

Translating Bullshittese into English requires a solid knowledge of history, a good grasp of political demagoguery, a semantic approach to the linguistically hidden real meanings i.e. the ability to read between the lines, and a well-developed bullshit-radar - which is why Noam's statements are so readily misunderstood by millions of his adoring dumb fans, because very few of them possess any of these qualities, all of which are essential in understanding his particular brand of "logic", language, and bullshit. 

That is why I am here to help them, and anybody else faced with this quasi-intellectual, bullshitting threat to democracy hence freedom.

I will be adding more quotes gradually, because Professor Bullshit never ever tires of bullshitting. He has perpetual diarrhea of the mouth, as all narcissistic American public figures, and I am here to clean him up a bit, wipe that shit off his face so you can see the real man behind the bullshit. 

De-Quoting The Quotes: Professor Bullshit

Translation of this pseudo-intellectual self-contradictory self-serving gobbledygook: 

"I am in favour of a democracy BUT...
BUT 
(get ready for a lengthy BUT, ye sheep) as long as government institutions are under popular control - and by that I of course mean that the control they're under is popular amongst me, other college Marxists, me, Castro, me, and Al-Qaeda. Additionally, I am for this democracy thingy but only if it entails no freedom for ambitious, intelligent, hard-working people to acquire personal assets and increase their wealth which is of course extremely evil, and as long as wicked corporations (which are so very evil by a ludicrous definition that only I and my obedient, dumb students understand) only function under strict supervision from massive, heavily-bureaucratized government institutions that are run by people appointed by Marxists (and even better: by myself personally). Capitalism does not allow anybody to do anything that's remotely free - aside from letting people get on happily with their lives - and of course the system I propose (which I can't mention here by name) isn't anti-democratic at all - because I say so. Industrialists are all crooks because they hog all the wealth for themselves and never let me have any, although I always pretend that the real reason I despise them is because they starve the poor that I frankly couldn't give three shits about, which is why I prefer a system in which a handful of dogmatic assholes like myself pull all the strings and get rich without having to work for it, while people who play by my rules get the shit end of the stick. Forget the fact that corporations when given breathing space generally increase employment and create more and cheaper goods - that is of no interest to me because I fucking hate the rabble i.e. those damn humanoids and their "needs". The only alternative to so-called "capitalist democracy" (which is such an oxymoron - simply because I the magnificent Marxist intellectual say that it is) is something that I dare not mention directly, which is why this quote sounds so mysterious. Suffice it to say that the alternative that I am unwilling to mention here by name starts with M and ends with ism."

So strong is Noam's urge not to have everyone find out he is a Communist, and so cunning a linguist is he that he totally avoids using the word but at the outset - in spite of the fact that the entire statement is one big anti-democracy BUT rant. A semantically-gifted bullshit-meister language-rapist par excellence, our honourable professor.

Noam Chomsky, the Jesus of modern western Marxism, has no college degrees in any of the natural sciences. What he does have, though, is the arrogance - and cojones - to criticize the greatest modern minds of astrophysics and cosmology by telling them that "the singularity is science-fiction". In his non-professional, uninformed, dilettante view, physicists had been wasting their time on utter nonsense the past few decades. 

Whether or not the singularity is fact or fiction is not the point here. The point is that Chumpsky is out of his depth discussing a highly complex mathematical/cosmological theory that he understands next to nothing about.

The megalomania and narcissism required for a linguistics expert to suddenly start fancying himself an expert on everything must truly be vast. Professor Bullshit, as I refer to him, would very gladly teach the whole world about all fields of both natural and human sciences, if he only had the time to do it - for he is as all-knowing and omniscient as a god. What a putz. 
He has publicly decried the "overly complex language" that physicists use, reminding me a bit of a truck-driver who stares emptily at 2001: A Space Odyssey, burps when the film ends, and then cries out "what the fuck is this shit all about?!". And then burps again. What a fine, fine intellectual Professor Bullshit turns out to be.

Mr. Chumpsky is a typical sociology-obsessed pompous egghead with an anti-scientific mind, and with a disrespect for scientists and science that is so prevalent amongst Marxists. He should have been born 300 years earlier when men like him became renowned philosophers - i.e. so-called thinkers who never had to prove any of their mostly wild scientific claims. That this kind of anti-intellectual conspiracy-theorist fraud managed to make a name for himself in the 21st century is a testament to the West's inability to deal with public liars and thought-polluters.

Translation of Professor Bullshit's hypocritical bullshit:  

"I question everything, except my own dogmatic arrogance and my pathological fanaticism. I want you also to question everything - except my own views, which are to be taken at face value and learned by heart without questioning. 
Question everything the Right does, but make sure you only question their views - as opposed to trying to analyze their arguments with an open mind using logic. Only QUESTION, and then stop there, not allowing any further thought processes to take place in your empty head. In fact, when I say question, what I really mean is ignore, i.e. ignore anything you hear from the Right - especially if it sounds as if it might make sense to you."

Translation of Professor Bullshit's spin-doctoring bullshit:  

"Of course, I am talking about the fucking idiots in the States, not the fucking rabble in Marxist dictatorships. I am fully aware that if the damn western riff-raff doesn't know much, that this could only be the fault of left-wing liars such as myself who control most of the media hence most of the information that the fucking rabble gets must be erroneous or at the very least heavily filtered - so no wonder the morons are clueless. Of course, if they voted for the American Communist Party, I'd praise their intellect, education and common sense." 


What Professor Bullshit knows all-too-well, but prefers to keep to himself, is that nowhere is the acquisition of (more-or-less) reliable information easier than in free (capitalist) democracies - even those whose press is heavily left-leaning i.e. almost as bullshit-happy as our respected professor of bullshit, Professor Noam Bullshit. Even flawed sources of information such as the British The Independent (anything but independent) & The Guardian (perhaps a guardian of Marxist ideology?), the French Liberation (meaning enslavement in this case), or the German Berliner Zeitung are more reliable and less biased examples of journalism than the utter propaganda fabrications that are being served to the luckless proletariat in tyrannies such as Cuba, Venezuela, or North Korea - all communist regimes which Chumpsky whole-heartedly supports in spite of literally millions of human-rights violations ascribed to them, filed in part by human-rights organizations which Chomsky recognizes.
 
Furthermore, this statement reveals much of Professor Bullshit's sense of superiority plus hidden disdain and low opinion of the "masses" he supposedly cherishes, treating them not like idiots but double-idiots, for not even being aware that they are not aware of what's going on in a successful 200 year-old democracy. 

This quote, one of many learned by rote by Noam's army of misfit fans, is a typical example of the upper-class snobbery (the irony...) which intellectual frauds such as Chumpsky exhibit, i.e. everybody is a bloody fool except his Royal Marxist Highness. To make this claim in a country with arguably the freest media in the world is nothing short of demagoguery of the most blatant sort. I could easily re-name this professional liar into Professor Demagogue, but I think his current new name suits him much better.

The U.S. voters aren't nearly Left enough for Chomsky's extremist desires - that's ALL this quote is about, nothing more. A bitter statement from a bitter man who made a bitter realization that America is still quite far from the Red Revolution nightmare this incurable sociopath dreams of.

Here's another moron from Occupy Wall Street. Please read the Goethe quote. Sounds familiar?

Translation/Interpretation of Professor Chumpsky's bullshit:

Noam picks and chooses whose suffering he will make public to the hordes of devoted morons who cling on to his every word as if they come from God himself. Listening to rabid Western Marxists such as this consummate liar and fact-manipulator, one would almost be lead to believe that 60s/70s Vietnam, 30s Spain, and WW2 Europe were the only times/places where death, destruction and supreme injustice reigned supreme. Professor Chumpsky couldn't care less about the dozens of millions of people who died under Communist regimes and as a result of Marxist-initiated wars and conflicts, yet is mysteriously concerned and teary-eyed about the dead in their favourite wars - the only "justifiable" wars, as far as Leftists are concerned. 
Furthermore, this almost criminal statement would have you believe that all those Vietnam corpses were a result of U.S. gunfire. To the uninformed and naive ears, Noam is implying, quite slyly without saying it bluntly, that the Vietnam war was all about American airplanes randomly bombing the entire country - rather than mention the fact that it was just another needless Civil War in which both sides committed murder on a large scale. But Noam couldn't care less about people murdered by Communists; such death-tolls are of no interest to this fine intellectual and humanist.

Translation of Professor Bullshit's bullshit:  

"The U.S. and its NATO allies are the real terrorists and murderers, whereas Islamic extremists/losers with bombs strapped to their bodies are only good-natured benevolent freedom-fighters who have no choice but to kill thousands of innocent civilians - most of whom are fortunately white westerners - as they fight against western capitalist corporate oppression which seeks to preserve Christianity, democracy and civilization all three of which of course suck - in the mind of Professor Horseshit."

The pot calling the kettle black - a reverse-accusation tactic as old as politics itself. Noam Chomsky willfully places himself on the side of all the Bin Ladens of this world with comments such as this. Professor Bullshit not only defends terrorists with this latent but blatantly misanthropic statement, but also encourages and promotes it, thereby removing the last speck of doubt anybody might still have had that he is indeed a raging, flaming, and angry psychopath. (Remember: psychopaths don't always look like overweight, round-headed barflies. They come in many shapes, sizes, and disguises. Sometimes they disguise themselves as soft-spoken, frail-looking, "well-meaning" intellectuals.)

Translation of Professor Bullshit's Bullshit:

Here Professor Chumpsky more-or-less pretends to criticize the American education system - which is basically in the hands of the Left, what with most major universities being a breeding ground for new generations of left-leaning morons, daily brainwashed by their liberal and Marxist professors. What Doctor Bullshit very conveniently omits to tell us is that it is precisely liberal propaganda and their main weapon of choice - Political Correctness - that are weeding out individualists i.e. young people who show a propensity for questioning established "truths", i.e. kids who dare to oppose their professors' red-stained political views. 

This quote is also an ideal example of how Marxists operate: they create a mess themselves and then pin blame on the Right for supposedly making that mess! The goal? Undermine the intellectually superior opposition yet again. It is an offense-is-the-best-defense type of a liar's tactic that is perhaps as old as civilization itself. The Left cannot beat the Right with logical argumentation, so they prefer to use lies and baseball bats.

Translation of Professor Bullshit's bullshit:  

"There is no need to look for heroes, since you all already have ME! I am to be your only hero and idol, the icon you pray to instead of Jesus. I, the Chumpsky, am your Lord, and you shall not have any idols besides me. Luckily for you, I also have ALL the great ideas as well, so I'm nothing if not the perfect package. 
But if you find me too ugly, annoying, or just plain boring, you can always make Karl your idol and God. He is a dead German so you don't have to listen to him give lengthy, dull, confusing lectures. His written bullshit almost rivals mine, so he is a worthy second choice, IF you make the wrong decision of not picking me as your new spiritual and political leader."

Am explanation of Professor Bullshit's bullshit: 

Three things I want you to focus your attention on in this anti-capitalist mini-rant.

One, the romantic idealization of tribal existence, which is at the core of Karl Marx's idiotic and naive vision of pre-society man. One would assume that Noam is suggesting we all go back to the caves - much as the extremist Greens fantasize about.

Two, notice how he avoids mentioning the mega-polluters China and Russia; two huge economies (hardly tribal societies!) whose anti-pollution laws are still in the Stone Age (forgive the ironical pun). China is communist, Russia is anti-American and practically communist, hence both are under protection by His American Royal Marxist Highness. They are free to pollute as much as they want to, as far as Noam is concerned.

Three, notice the bombastic language he uses, almost like a crazed, radical street-corner preacher: "full-speed ahead... to destroy... as quickly as possible". He stopped just short of claiming that western democracies are doing this intentionally, that their aim is to destroy the environment! It is an accusation that is both preposterous and utterly illogical.

Make no mistake: this is not a pro-environmental statement, it's an anti-capitalist rant. This selective blame-pinning once again goes to show that Noam is not an idealist, but an opportunist and a charlatan. He picks and chooses which innocent corpses he will "care" about (he doesn't give a shit about any), and he picks and chooses which tyrannies he will decry as evil (he generally decries democracies as evil). He uses inflammatory exaggerations, which is what all lunatics and hate-speakers do. 
He couldn't care less about the environment, but merely uses it as an additional tool to undermine the success of capitalism and to spread falsehoods about societies that practice it. In short, he is a flaming hypocrite and one of the biggest - hence most dangerous - public liars in the West.

An analysis of Professor Bullshit's utter bullshit:

Here is a great example of how Mr. Chumpsky "proves" a non-fact by making a bunch of totally unproven, even illogical assumptions.

1) large debt = not having a desire to change society

What the hell does one have to do with the other? A student accumulates debt - and suddenly his desire to change the world (if he had one to begin with) drops to zero. This is speculative nonsense, nothing more. Did Chumpsky actually base this assumption on a series of studies? One study? No, he merely made it up - because he needed a starting point to reach his lofty "conclusion", which he intended to anyway reach well in advance of even analyzing the background information relating to the topic at hand. 

Using the reverse of this chomskian "logic", we can safely conclude that:

low debt or zero debt = a huge need to change society

But does that make sense either? A person who has no debt is a happier person (on average) than the one with the large debt, so if debt did have anything to do with the motivation to change society (which I doubt) then wouldn't it make more sense for the person who is unhappy (i.e. debt-ridden) to want to see change happen? It is dissatisfaction that breeds political discontentment and a resulting revolution, not a lack of problems. Duh.

Obviously, Professor Bullshit hasn't thought this through at all but is merely talking out of his red-stained ass - or he knows that this is just one of his many bullshit statements, the type he can make off-hand because his followers think that he is an all-knowing god hence they never question a damn thing he says.

2) A person who is in debt is not "trapped" into debt by someone, as Chumpsky claims, but is alone responsible for his own debt. Chumpsky, the socialist weasel that he is, never lets the individual assume responsibility for anything - hence this typical blame-society-for-everything Marxist-ideology bullshit that he is implying here. 

3) having debt = no time to think i.e. an inability to think

Quite to the contrary, people who have large debts are forced to think quick and hard how to solve the financial crisis they find themselves in. It is the people who are not in debt that can relax, worry less, hence think less. 
So if there is any connection between these two concepts, it could only be the reverse of what this illogical putz is saying.

4) increases in fees = disciplinary technique

Might these increases be a result of rising costs or inflation?

5) a student finishing college = a student loaded with debt

Bullshit. Many students do not end up with much, or any, debt by the time they finish. This largely depends on their financial sources, such as how wealthy their parents are. 
IF their parents are not wel-off enough, then students need to work in order to finance their studies - and if they don't want to work, then tough luck! 
Poor but very gifted students have a good chance of receiving scholarships, so only poor and average or below-average students might have the kind of trouble Noam is talking about. But does society really need that many average or below-average college graduates? If you're average or worse, get a fucking job at McDonalds! Not everybody can - or should - have a college degree. 

6 ) "They have internalized the disciplinarian culture" is typical semantic sociology horseshit that means almost nothing. 

Noam doesn't want to express in plain English his cretinous conclusion that students experiencing growing debt are whipped into submission like a bunch of brain-washed idiots and are henceforth unable to rebel against the capitalist oppression. This is the nonsensical point he really means to make here.

7) In the end, Noam reaches the staggeringly far-fetched conclusion that all these non-facts listed previously must lead us to believe that debt turns young people into mindless zombie Wal-Mart-goers, unable to think for themselves, and obsessed with buying the next great useless product! Then he makes another leap in illogic by connecting that with the unwilligness of young people to stir up a Red Revolution. No, Chumpsky; the "proletariat uprising" you are really trying to address here (but don't dare mention by name) hasn't occurred not due to some clever government scheme to keep everyone in debt but because people are not starving like they are in the countries whose tyrannies YOU support(ed): North Korea, the former USSR etc.

In fact, people are by nature consumers! People have needs and wants, most of which relate to their mortal nature, and their inability to exist without shelter and food. The fact that the more advanced, civilized man wants to add a few luxuries to the basics that he might already have is what Noam considers "decadent", pointless, and counter-productive. I'd like to see Noam's villa, to see how HE lives; probably just as multi-million-dollar-villa-cozy as his pal Michael Moore.

Not to mention the blatant hypocrisy of working at high-profile, ultra-expensive universities from which Noam happily takes high salaries derived from the money provided by his "debt-ridden, exploited" students! 
Put your money where your mouth is, Noam. Or stop taking that money if it's robbing America of its freedom, you bloody liar.

A critique of Professor Bullshit's utter horseshit:

How exactly is "popular culture" giving people the impression that they are politically impotent? Not to mention the irony and hypocrisy of Chumley knowing full well that popular culture is inundated with political correctness and left-wing ideology, hence even if pop culture were the culprit, then his left-wing buddies would be to blame instead of corporations which are his favourite scapegoat and no.1 (imaginary) nemesis.

He talks about propaganda, as if only the Right practices it. Never mind the astounding might and exorbitant amounts of cash that pour in from all sides (Hollywood, for example) into financing the Left's own propaganda machine, which is, if anything, ten times as powerful and omnipresent as that of Chumley's opposition. 

Besides, where are the studies that prove that most people feel this way? Occupy Wall Street - which Chumley fully supports (and directs) - claims that they are "the 99%". Chumpsky doesn't say that the majority feels helpless but he is implying it. After all, why would he be making a point about how a minority feels helpless?

It also has to be said that Chumley slyly pretends as if the ordinary citizen - on his own - could ever influence anything in a major way. He knows that he can't. In no healthy system is this possible. The only way to have a major impact is to rise in the political hierarchy or become a top capitalist. That's just the reality of human existence, and Noam knows it damn well - but pretends as if a switch to communism could possibly change that. Bullshit-artist extraordinaire. 

Of course, the quote ends with the usual baloney, the criticism of "consumerism". If it isn't a dumb quip or criticism of the corporate world then it's some nonsense about consumerism - as if this flaming hypocrite never consumes anything just like the rest of us. He doesn't live modestly, nor does he live in squalor, the sneaky little liar.

This time Professor Bullshit was kind enough to explain his own bullshit:
 
"As you can tell, I have spent many an hour pondering the different ways in which one could restrict, undermine and even eventually destroy a democracy - and almost certainly from within, because China and Russia aren't currently likely to start a war * let alone win it. One way is certainly to bullshit people by making them believe that corporations are the main culprit for all problems in our society - in spite of the fact that capitalism is obviously the last thing skeptical freedom-lovers should be looking at to blame. Capitalism spells freedom, but freedom for the rabble is the last fucking thing I care about.

Notice how I cleverly ended the quote by mentioning corporations? All that hogwash about princes and kings was just a pretext; a sort of bombastic, meaningless list of obvious means of oppression which I simply named so I could punchline my dumb listeners by equating all of them with my favourite pet-peeve - the corporate world, which still refuses to hand over all their assets to me.

And the funny thing is: I don't even have anything against military juntas and party dictatorships! As long as they're left-wing, of course. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Do I not count the likes of Castro and Chavez as my most adoring fans?

Of course corporations aren't unaccountable institutions, that's just a flat-out lie. But hey, that's how I operate! I like to twist facts, make up lies, and just hurl as much bull's shit into the listener's dumb face as I possibly can. I have realized many years ago that the more you bullshit them, the more they respect you - and I am talking about idiots, of course. And idiots have plenty of money with which they can buy books they think they understand - my books - and pay for my hilarious "lectures" which are nothing but soft-spoken hate-speeches aimed squarely against democracy and freedom. I make a huge profit, and keep it aaaaall for myself rather than share them as a good communist. Ha-ha-ha-ha! There's no such thing as a good communist, but those dumb fans of mine wouldn't know that of course.

What really riles me is when either the public arena or the corporate world control the decision-making. You know who truly needs to call all the shots?... ME, of course! And I won't rest until all the institutions in this shitty country belong to me, and me alone! The only way this can happen is through a revolution, a communist one, and that's why this fucking democracy and its fucking successful capitalism are getting in my way! I can't be bothered to participate in the free, democratic political process because there is no guarantee that I'd make it even to a mayoral position, let alone a Senator or President - and even if I did make it to President of this stupid country my powers would be vastly limited by those fucking institutions called the Congress and the damn Senate! How the fuck am I to have absolute power if I have to discuss every damn thing with these assholes?"

Sorry about that. I asked Chumley to explain the reality behind this ridiculous quote, and he just went into a lengthy rant. 

Notice the adjective he uses for the last word: "modern" corporations. Is he actually implying that he never had a problem with older corporations? Is he perhaps suggesting that he never would have criticized the corporations of yesteryear? The corporations of the 1980s? 1950s? The 1920s even?

Chumley is such a bullshitter. Please don't encourage him by caressing and inflating his huge Ego even further. Don't buy his books, and certainly don't go to his lectures - and if you do, try not to applaud for every single lie he says.

* of course, the situation has changed in the meantime; thanks to Obama's self-destructive diplomacy and EU's pussy-footedness, Russia (and perhaps China) has grown brazen in its military ambitions 

http://morepoliticalrants.blogspot.com/2013/08/marxism-basic-guide-for-gullible_24.html

https://vjetropevchecksyourintelligence.blogspot.com/2017/11/imbecile-test-just-how-dumb-are-you.html