There is an aspect of the Hell/Heaven belief system that makes no logical sense. No sense what-so-ever. A paradox that nobody had yet identified.
At least until now. I have identified it. (Clever little me.) And I cannot believe that I, nor anyone else, had figured this out earlier. Several thousand years really ought to have been time enough. Several decades - for me - should have been quite enough too. And yet I'd failed. We all did. Until now.
I shall explain it.
Hell-Demons:
Bringers of Justice
But not yet. First I want to tell you what my Hell Paradox isn't.
Notice I call it "my", not "the". I love boasting...
Nah, just kidding... There are several paradoxes, that's why this one is mine.
These are the "only" problems "intellectuals" have been able to identify so far, problems that have little or nothing to do with my own recently-discovered paradox:
1. This isn't about the question of whether Free Will exists or not. That whole thing about how justifiable/logical could it be to punish someone if they never had FW to begin with. Especially handing out eternal punishment for "just" a few decades of earthly misdeeds - behaviour guided by genetics and whatnot, not through Free Will, hence guiltless wickedness.
2. It's not about God lacking mercy. That argument about God being so (uncharacteristically?) vicious he'd actually punish a "sinner" by sending him to a place of eternal torture. Some believers have a real problem with that, because it's such contradictory behaviour for an allegedly merciful God.
3. It isn't about the absurdity of God being both omnipotent and good - while actually allowing for the existence of evil, of demons, hence Hell. One of many unresolved religious absurdities.
It's none of those things. Yes, all those are gaping logic holes, unresolved/non-resolvable issues, but none of them are what I've discovered/realized. They are all common knowledge, old news. And there are probably some others I'd omitted. These are just the most basic ones. (There's an endless can of worms in opening up the "religious bullshit" seal...)
Before I get to the Hell Paradox, there is another absurdity I've identified, one which I haven't heard of yet (though there is a chance that someone had figured it out before me): it has to do with the biological aspects of residing in Hell.
This "fiery place of eternal damnation" is where the wicked are supposed to be continuously tortured. But how do you torture a dead person? If a person is dead then their body must no longer react to any kind of physical stimulus. How does a dead body feel pain? If it feels pain then the person's body never died in the first place - i.e. death is just a fake event, a temporary thing. In order for demons to inflict pain, at the very least, logically, the victim's soul must be reconnected to it's old body as soon as he enters Hell. Or, if that's not the case, the only alternative is that the wicked soul is given a new body - just so the wicked person can be tortured. Either option is problematic, not to mention silly.
This whole notion of physical pleasures and pain - supposedly exclusively (?) Earthly "delights" - being a part of the netherworld as well, is very iffy, very dubious. If Heaven and Hell offer physical pleasures and pain, respectively, then how different are these two worlds from the "physical" world, the "real world", our world?
If we are physically present in either Hell or Heaven, then how the hell do these worlds differ from the "earthly" world, the cosmic world? They don't, or not that much - or not nearly as much as is advertised in various bibles. Hence Heaven and Hell would have to be part of our cosmos, obeying the same physical laws, or at the very least a part of a different universe, part of some far-flung corner of the multiverse. Is that what Heaven and Hell are: real, physical places in other dimensions?
All religions - without exception - are too primitively/vaguely constructed to go into this much detail hence they offer zero answers/solutions to all these questions, inconsistencies, contradictions, paradoxes and absurdities.
Speaking of paradoxes, time to finally discuss the Hell Paradox.
It's very simple:
Heaven rewards the good, Hell punishes the wicked.
So far so good - whether you believe in this stuff or not (which is irrelevant in this context: believers and atheists can equally discuss this issue, and with each other, without having to argue over the core issue of the existence of God).
But here comes the problem, the paradox.
In Heaven, "forces of good" (angels, God, whoever) carry out the justice, i.e. the reward program.
In Hell, "forces of evil" (demons, the devil, whoever) carry out the justice, i.e. punish the guilty; they are in charge of the punishment program.
Notice the problem?
Think for a few minutes before you continue...
Come on, you can do it. There is a blatant problem in this.
Here's a pic to help you avoid reading the spoiler beneath.
Figured it out yet?
Of course you haven't. Even though I gave you a strong hint.
Nobody figured it out, not in 1000s of years, so why should you?
Religious scholars, atheists, bored couch philosophers, writers, not even skeptics who hunt for contradictions had managed to notice this crucial flaw.
Vjetropev's Hell Paradox: if demons and the devil are punishing the wicked, then these evil beasties are by definition:
a) carrying out justice, b) carrying out God's work.
Which of course makes zero sense, considering that "the forces of evil" aren't on good terms with Heaven, and almost definitely must hate these "goodies".
So why would demons punish "the wicked"? Shouldn't they embrace them as heroes and allies: help them, applaud them, give them good jobs in Hell, make their post-life fun?
Of course they should. Logically.
Sure, being evil, demons want to inflict pain, even on other evil beings/creatures/humans (no solidarity among scum, despite what crooks claim), so maybe occasionally they could torture a "bad guy" just to stay in shape, but on the whole (hell-(w)hole) the forces of Evil would be silly to punish all or even half of God's sinners, God's great disappointments, i.e. humans whose wicked deeds keep annoying God. Demons enjoy having God annoyed, they want him annoyed. They don't want to please him by doing him favours.
The notion that demons are being useful to the Good Side - by avenging all those good humans on Earth who were wronged by all these dead hellbound assholes - is ridiculous because it goes against basic good-vs-evil monotheist-religion logic. Plus, it makes the demons look stupid. They can't be that stupid though? They've been winning the battle for Earth's souls for millennia!
Two (really bad) solutions to solve this very tricky problem, to resolve the paradox, to fix the logic - to make Hell a logical place once again:
1. Hell does indeed import into its "lands" hordes of wicked dead people, but it doesn't punish them. It may in fact do the opposite: make their stay welcome! In this shocking scenario, Hell would be Heaven for the wicked! Gandhi, Mandela and Che might be "living it up" in high fashion for decades, having the time of their lives/deaths! At this very moment, Evil Catholic Nun Theresa might be frolicking through the fields (or burning fires - whichever), doing what she does best: torturing small children!
2. Hell does punish all of its inhabitants/newcomers, but it doesn't receive the wicked: it receives only the good. The good don't go to Heaven, they are sent to Hell! Heaven may not even exist! Or perhaps it exists simply to reward the guilty! Once again we have this: Gandhi, Mandela, Che, Theresa and Epstein are holding hands, laughing, singing - and cutting off heads!
Shocking, huh.
In this very ugly, extremely unfair, lopsided (2nd) version of the afterlife, every good person is eternally cheated out of their promised rewards by being brutally punished - for no reason. Or rather, they are being punished for being good.
(We get this a lot on Earth too. "No good deed goes unpunished", ey?)
And for a whole eternity, no less. Every good person is in fact punished for leading a moral, chaste life.
In this (2nd) version, God is the ultimate demon, an evil/devious Holy Cheater who works to destroy all humans, on Earth and especially in the afterlife. He may actually be the only Satan in this version/explanation. There is no "Satan" as we know it, no opposition to God. In this version God is literally all-powerful and the only supernatural being/leader - hence the Greatest Asshole in the History of the Multiverse (or at least in this universe - provided each universe has its own "creator"/boss/command-in-chief/sadist-on-duty.)
In version 1 on the other hand, God isn't necessary evil; he is merely incapable of controlling what goes on in Hell, which would (and wouldn't) make sense. He can only send the wicked to Hell, but he can't order Hell what to do with the wicked once they are there. This would be an ineffectual, depressed God, or a lazy, disinterested God.
The partial solution: perhaps God beats up the wicked in purgatory, goes after them mercilessly by going medieval on them, just to make sure they get some measure of justice before being sent off to Hell where they may or may not be punished further by disobedient demons.
The implications are staggering: in either of the two above options, the motive to be "good" is deleted completely, substituted by the complete opposite, the motivation to be as vile as possible - especially if Hell is divided into levels, as in Islamic Hell. In Jahannam the worse you are the worse your punishment, hence the seven (?) levels of Hell.
Translated into option 1, this means that the worse you are the bigger the reward in Hell (i.e. Heaven for the wicked), and translated into option 2 this means the "better"/nicer you are on Earth the harsher your punishment in after-Earth.
There is one other option that may "save the (religious) day":
3. Demons and the Devil are on God's payroll.
This resolves the utter mess created by 1 and/or 2, but brings in new issues.
For one thing, it means God is in cahoots with the forces of evil, he has a deal with them, a working relationship. I.e. the two sides are not really enemies: they are more like business partners. Like rival "firms". (Mobs.)
Obviously, by "payroll" I don't mean they literally get paid. Who needs money in the afterlife? They may exchange chickens and cows instead: you know, barter, like in the olden-but-hardly-golden early Earth days...
Just kidding. On a much more serious note...
Their may be an exchange of favours instead of barter involving physical goods because we have to assume that both sides are extremely "wealthy" (whatever that means). Maybe God allows demons to occasionally visit Heaven disguised as humans, where they then have sex with awesome-looking women?
(Or with very ugly women: you just never know with those mischievous, weird demons. Perhaps Ellen Degeneres will one "day" end up on the wish-list of a demon who is disgusted by beauty - though this could only happen if God forgives all of her 2,306,785 sins in order to let her inside Heaven, in the first place.)
Maybe God warns the disguised demons beforehand not to be rough ("no rough sex! this is a clean and decent place!" - clean and decent despite Ellen being in it! ha ha) and under no circumstances to reveal their true identity to the women they have intercourse with. (Though Ellen would probably be thrilled to cavort with demons.) Because after all, God needs to remain the beacon of goodness and honesty, not deviance and corruption.
However we spin it, there is a problem with all three options. Either Hell becomes Heaven for assholes, or it becomes a place for the good to be punished - or God has some sort of sneaky deal with demons/Satan to work together, an option/version that would imply that God is either not omnipotent or isn't nearly as kosher as religions would lead us to believe. A god that cooperates with the forces of evil? That would forever crush the idea that the afterlife and the netherworld are clearly split into two opposing sides, good and evil.
Good, at least in the biblical sense, by definition can't make compromises with the forces of evil, can't negotiate with them. And yet, that is exactly what is needed in order to ensure that demons/Satan really do punish the wicked in Hell. Because why would demons and their devilish leader Satan want to do God's work for him?
What would be their motive? What's in it for them?
Sure, this entire post is just a logic exercise, nothing more. The notion that Heaven and Hell exist is laughable (especially the former), for a number of (obvious) reasons that I won't go into. I am merely exposing yet another moronic contradiction, another logic flaw, in the incredibly silly world of (monotheistic) religion.
Whether there is anything for us miserable bipedal losers after this pathetic, torturous, earthly existence is impossible to answer. No, not even arrogant all-knowing (irony alert) atheists can completely dismiss all (of the weird) possibilities. There are many things we simply can't know, will never know (despite what dumb optimists claim), hence we need to be a little more humble than those bloody all-knowing religious zealots and those pompous knowitall atheist dipshits (who are mostly closet Commies anyway, and Commies are all true believers).
However, as clueless as we may be and always will be about what we are, where we are, and what the bloody hell is really going on - we must surely realize that the concept of Heaven and Hell is way too dumb to be a reality.
Because if it were real, then the entire multiverse would have to be one big fucking joke.
Hang on!... It is one big fucking joke.
