I wrote this text about 15 years ago, when my hatred of Gandhi was at an all-time high. By now I've learned to accept him as an integral part of the modern world's retardation/devolution though, because what choice do I really have? If you can't beat 'em join 'em, they say, but because that's never an option for me, I opted for if you can't beat 'em at least mock 'em.
The Philosophical Nudist
The fact that Gandhi didn't have to spend much time on food allowed him to focus on more "nobler" pursuits, i.e.
coming up with all those damn stupid one-liners, which had been elevated to the status of "exalted" thoughts that are now considered as wise and intelligent as anything Confucius had farted out of his ancient ass. Amazingly, these stupid, predictable, obvious, hypocritical ramblings are almost taken as the word of God by certain humanoids. Gandhi, a conniving sociopath like the vast majority of Third World politicians, knew exactly what he was doing; he had a carefully-manicured bullshit image to uphold, and what better way for an attention-grabbing anorexic Indian guru/baba to achieve this than with bullshit fortune-cookie one-liners, all full of cheesy morality and cheap-ass word-play. Gullible westerntards eat that shit up like nothing.
Must look serene... mustn't reveal myself... stay baba-like... babble some yoga shit... mustn't give myself away... mustn't fart!
1) "Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed."
Now, try that in French or Swahili and see if it rhymes...
That's the problem with those rhymes, they usually work in just a few languages.
Or "Earth provides enough to satisfy every junkie's need for weed but not for speed."
A triple rhyme this time, ha? Beat you to it, Baldie. And check this out:
"Earth provides enough bald-headed phonies to satisfy every idiot's craving for pseudo-philosophical bullshit." No rhyme this time but more to the point.
2) "You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result...
… And no action speaks louder than sitting on my ass while meditating for the world."
This is just a long-winded way of saying "if you don't get off your ass and do something you won't ever know if it'll work." Did we really need a niece-shtooping veggie charlatan to tell us that?
This is Basic Advice To Kids 101. I presume that it had been said by a million people before Gandhi was even born, but hey: none of them are Gandhi!
3) "In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart...
... which is why I yap yap yap yap and yap all day long."
A simple sacrificial chicken heart will do.
In other words, "better to be a decent person who talks little than a phony skinny Indian scumbag who talks non-stop". Well, duh, obviously. I'll take a quiet, decent man over Gandhi any time, so yes, I agree with the grass-munching buffoon on this one. Pity only I seem to realize he's talking about himself.
4) "The Roots of Violence: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principles…
… Heroin without a needle, a bald-headed guru without a dumb audience, sex without big breasts, a cheeseburger without cheese, an Indian man without the legal right to slay his wife, serial-killings without victims' screams of pain..."
"The Roots of My Hair: Gone."
There's so much wrong with this quote, I wouldn't know where to begin. Suffice it to say, it's a rather virtue-signaling statement full of politically-correct implied fallacies, the sort of bullshit that should be popular among bored, dumb housewives: the kind of shit they might share among each other on Facebook while hence feeling a lot wiser than they really are.
5) "My faith runs so very much faster than my reason that I can challenge the whole world and say, 'God is, was and ever shall be."
Isn't it just FUN to recognize your own illogic and then wallow in it defiantly like a retarded child! He is basically admitting that his faith is blind (which isn't anything to boast about), and that he comfortably leaves reason miles behind his faith, because it's so much easier to believe in non-provable bullshit than have to actually strain your grey cells to understand the actual real world out there.
Furthermore, he is taking this embarrassing admittance of favouring blind stupid faith over logic and reason so far as to claim that this actually EMPOWERS him to "challenge the world", teaching them about his divine delusions, and how much merit they have - simply because he The Great Gandhi says so.
Thirdly, and this is the worst part, he basically declares himself the messiah! He boasts about having more faith than anyone else, "so would you please follow me as your spiritual leader?" It may not be obvious at first, but he was such a devious bastard, so one needs to really do some between-the-lines careful reading to get to the sometimes less obvious layers of narcissism and self-love this sociopath had advertised to the sheep.
6) "An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching...
... And to underline that point, let me tell you another 250 impressive quotes about life and morality."
What a self-contradictory buffoon. He did nothing all day long but walk around his garden - and sexually molest his favourite niece - and then he talks about practice...
Perhaps that's the practice he was referring to: his pedophilic, incestual obsession with that poor girl.
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| "Image is everything... You gullible dummies." |
7) "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
... And then you ignore others, laugh at them, fight them, and then lose."
In other words, do not ever fight for what you believe in. Just sit around meditating, and hope that veggie burgers crawl down your throat voluntarily, while you spend all your waking hours pondering the power of peaceful protest (and a non-active life that involves you sitting on your ass, philosophizing, while others - your lower-caste slaves - do the cooking and cleaning for you).
8) "Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth...
... I should know for I am the one God. A minority of one."
What a pompous ass. He was talking about himself, not about how truth isn't decided democratically. "I may be just one, but being the Great Gandhi, I know what the f*** I'm talking about, so even if the wise majority says I'm full of shit, you should believe me and not them, coz I f***ing say so."
That's what it boils down to.
Of course, Oprah and Sean Penn might not agree with me.
9) "Be the change that you want to see in the world."
You want the Jews to disappear? Take action: kill, kill, kill.
What I'm saying is: he should have been aware that psychopaths may heed his advice too. After all, he doesn't specify which kind of change, for what purpose.
It's a very leftist habit, this laughable obsession with the word change. As if change for the worse isn't implied as well... Obama and many charlatans of that ilk took a page out of Gandhi's demagoguery and virtue-signaling, illogical, high-and-mighty bullshit. For example, he too based his entire election campaigns on the word change. As if change is some kind of all-purpose cure for all problems. Hitler and Lenin wanted change, didn't they...
The 12th century needed change - very badly - not the 21st century. We need moderate modifications in most issues, not radical 180 turnarounds. Only idiots truly believe that "everything is wrong". Everything was wrong in the 12th century, not now. But what do most spoiled, contemporary humans know about the harsh realities that our ancestors had to endure? Almost nothing. They have no clue how good they have it - compared to how things once were, and not just 800 years ago, but as recently as just 150 years ago.
10) "You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind...
... for I keep it hidden in a very tiny place but I won't tell you where it is. And don't follow me either; I rarely visit that place."
Very big on words, this bullshitarian. Very "brave" when he doesn't have to prove it with actions. If faced with the actual threat of torture he'd have begged for mercy like the hypocritical little bitch that he was. Morons who believe statements such as these watch way too many Hollywood movies. 99.9999% of the human species cry like infants when threatened with immediate torture or when the torture starts. To believe in anything else is to be extremely naive i.e. to be utterly cut off from reality.
11) "Truth never damages a cause that is just…
… plain evil. Just plain evil. Like my cause."
And guess who gets to decide what is true or just and what isn't. Baldie: he gets to decide it. He was probably one of those assholes such as Noam Chomsky who advises people "to think for yourselves" but actually wants people "to think like me".
12) "All business depends upon men fulfilling their responsibilities...
… while women do the cooking, cleaning and the dishes. Oh yes: and being burnt at the stake if they dare try divorce. Coz that's how we roll over here."
This is yet another one that falls into the bleedin'-obvious category. Basically, what the damn scoundrel is saying is "if employees don't do their jobs, the business will fail". Fucking hell... Business Management 101. Thanks, Einstein!
13) "The law of love could be best understood and learned through little children…
… And that law is: 'If you play hide-and-seek with me I'll be your friend forever. If you don't, I'll tell Mommy you broke the vase."
If you look closer at this shitty quote, you might see a hint of pedophilia, i.e. perhaps the smelly old pervert meant it to be taken literally. After all, he did engage in sexual relations with his 13 year-old niece - a fact lost on all of his dumb followers (who get their historical education through retarded Oscar-winning Hollywood flicks).
On even closer scrutiny, this quote goes hand-in-hand with Marxist philosophy of glorifying the "purity" of children.
May I remind you that one of the most essential differences between the Left and the Right is that the Left actually believes that people are born morally pure as infants then gradually become corrupted, whereas the Right takes the far more realistic stance that babies are more akin to greedy little, selfish, clueless animals that need to be properly trained in order to become useful adults, i.e. to be taught to block their egotism as much as is possible thereby trying to become productive members of a hopefully functional, advanced society.
14) "My life is my message."
How modest, huh?
OK, then... The message must be: "you can fight in wars, as I have, and even be awarded with medals for being an efficient killer, but later on you can start bullshitting people with your own unique brand of pacifism."
You didn't know he was a medal-winning war-hero, did you? They rarely mention that sort of stuff in Hollywood movies and TV documentaries.
Unfortunately, people really are taking this guy's bloody useless life seriously, even today. But then again, those are the same people who vote for Obama, who thing GM food is poisonous, who think PETA are run by people with common sense, and that a creature called the Yeti is hitting Nepalese people over the heads with a large club.
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| "I will now offer these ladies a few nuggets from my Grand Book of Cosmic Wisdom, but when the cameras are gone I'm gonna f*** the living daylights out of them!" |
15) "I have known many meat eaters to be far more nonviolent than vegetarians…
… and I met them all in the prisons I set up just after we got our Independence. They were Indians who barely had anything to eat for weeks: you'd be surprised how docile these meat-eaters get when you starve them for a bit…"
Who the hell had even suggested that meat-eaters were more violent than veggies?! Why even refute such nonsense.
16) "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others…
… Others - like me, for example. My last batch of servants died of starvation just the other day. You can truly lose yourself in washing my smelly diapers, lose your life in those smells in fact. Work for me for a dollar a day; just say the word…"
Obviously, Gandhi never found himself as he had never served anyone but himself.
17) "Nearly everything you do is of no importance, but it is important that you do it…
… if you want to keep your much-prized job as my servant."
What a motivator. "You're an irrelevant speck of dust in the grand scheme of things in this incomprehensibly vast universe, but what the hell, keep doing whatever shit you're doing coz it might have some meaning or relevance to someone somewhere - or simply because I say so."
18) "There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever…
… Which leaves me: as an atheist in the truest sense of the word I worry a lot, and if you ever doubted that worry wastes the body just check out my skinny little rump."
In other words, God is your Big Daddy who takes care of EVERYTHING. Hungry? Wait for God to give you food. Thirsty? God will get you a drink. In fact, God is your slave and waiter, waiting on you hand and foot.
It's easy for this little jet-setter to muse about the folly of worrying when he had everything he needed from his many female servants, while not having to work at all. Unless you consider staring at empty space for hours as work.
19) "They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them…
... Then again, I'm not sure just how in-demand an Indian's self-respect is these days…"
20) "An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it…
… For example, if everyone says that I am a wonderful man 1,000,000 times, that won't correct the error that I am in fact just a hypocritical little scab. Likewise, if the truth is ignored that I am indeed a hypocritical little charlatan, it doesn't change the fact that I in fact am a hypocritical little shit in spite of the fact that no-one ever mentions the fact that I am just a hypocritical little turd, because I represent peace, non-violence and all that other horseshit which hippies and other Western left-wingers are such suckers for."
21) "Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable…
… Trust me, nothing makes me feel smaller than my infinite love for myself, and nothing is as humbling as seeing a woman yawn while I mount her."
Just weeks before the brilliant idea occurred to him to walk around naked as the new pseudo-messiah.
22) "A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble…
… But nothing beats a good old 'maybe'. Gets you out of trouble and has a grain of conviction to it. Get to have your cake and eat it too."
23) "Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the universe is endlessly bountiful. Just put forth a clear enough request, and everything your heart desires must come to you…
...Your heart will desire blood, naturally. Your brain, however, also desires it but make sure it gets none coz otherwise you'll realize what an utter fraud of an icon I am."
I don't know if he included the moments when people take a crap as well. You can't beat the creativity of taking a shit, you simply can't. And the best part? We all shit - a lot (and some like Gandhi through their mouth also) - which means we are all endlessly creative. I bet Picasso and Andy Warhol would have loved to have thought of that shit first.
Can't you see the universe was created for your own amusement? Just ask for something and you'll get it. Remember: God is your humble slave and servant.
24) "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ...
... who was fortunately crucified. I regret that the rest of Christianity didn't get the same wonderful fate that all non-Hindus should, and that's why I don't like them - the f***ers are still around."
This, coming from a Hindu who sexually molested his own underage niece. Or does Hinduism propagate incestual pedophilia? Well, in that case Hindus like Gandhi ARE like the religion they follow, unlike those damn hypocritical Christians.
Gandhi basically takes a jibe at a "competing" religion here, but in a diplomatic, sly way. A thinly-veiled example of his intolerance toward non-Hindu religions. What a master politician. And I don't mean that as a compliment in the slightest - unless you consider slyness and sociopath intelligence positive character traits.
25) "The law an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind…
… So I think it's time we started ripping out limbs instead."
Now he's taking a jibe at Jews.
This coming from a guy who supposedly obtained Independence the peaceful way, but then lead India to a bloody Civil War right afterwards that took millions of lives. The streets of India's large cities were littered with thousands of corpses right after "independence".
No, you won't find that kind of information in history books written by Harvard graduates (whose names end with -berg or -man...)
Beware of any politician who preaches pacifism: they're ALL full of it - or at the very least deranged.
26) "Nobody can hurt me without my permission…
...There is a time and place for everything. Even for S&M games."
Again, I'd like to hear him say that just minutes before a leather-clad masked man approaches him in an underground torture chamber, while he's limbs are all tied, and knives and blades are hanging from the walls and ceilings.
Mere words are bullshit, especially when defying common sense and reality.
27) "We must always seek to ally ourselves with that part of the enemy that knows what is right…
… and what is left, because that is the part of him that isn't dyslexic. And we should find the part of our enemy that can't even count to three and then pounce on it – hard. Find a weakness then be merciless with it."
This anorexic little runt was preaching non-violence as means of fighting the Nazis, going so far as to even send a letter to Churchill in which he advised the Allies to let Hitler beat them and then watch Nazi Germany regret their violent actions! I am not making this shit up. Gandhi was a fucking cretin. As if anybody would have anything to gain from one man having feelings of guilt (which Hitler anyway would never have had) while millions lie dead. Fucking idiotic drivel from the mind of a crazed, bullshitting egomaniac.
28) "Whenever you have truth it must be given with love, or the message and the messenger will be rejected…
… it's like delivering a pizza: if someone ordered an extra drink to go with the pizza and you arrive without the drink, you will be rejected. Remember: the pizza is never enough."
I.e. don't shout out or scream your truth. Say it nicely.
For a lengthy rant about the stupidity of left-wing ideology:
For more in the "Dequoting the Quotes" series:
